Dec 4, 2017
To My Shidduch-Focused Parents

From the COLlive inbox: "Dear parents, I'm getting so tired and dragged down by the judgment that comes from shidduch dating."

The following is an open letter written by a single woman shared with the Adai Ad Institute in Crown Heights:

To my dear loving parents –

I know you want to see me settled into a happy marriage, and that is why you are working so diligently for a shidduch for me. I too want to get married. Very much so. But here's the thing: I am getting so tired and dragged down by all the judgment that comes from this shidduch dating.

Really, I am not so picky. I am obviously dating bochurim who are not quite right for me. One has a shlichus lined up for him in a third-world country, and I'm not ready for that type of move. Another was entirely too reserved for me to have a proper conversation with him. Yet another was a chauvinist who loved to share racist and sexist jokes.

All this dating is emotionally draining on its own, but what is even more draining and painful are the judgments and well-meaning comments I get from my family, friends, and 'wise' fellow community members.

"Why are you so picky?" "Why don't you give it one more chance?" "Height isn't everything." "Wouldn't you rather live in Timbuktu than stay single forever?"
No, I actually wouldn't. (gasp).

I know everyone is coming from a place of love and concern, they just care to see me happy. But what they don't realize is that such comments are not conducive to such happiness. They just make me more anxious.

Just recently, you set me up with someone, because, as you say it, "I can't figure out what you are looking for, so what's the big deal to just meet. You never know." So I met him- because you thought it is a good idea- and even though after meeting with him I am positive that he is not for me, you prodded and urged me to meet him again and again. Is my judgment not good enough?

I also figured out that you created a situation where I would be at the same Shabbos table as someone I told you I did not want to meet – because you still thought it was a worthwhile shiduch idea.

These little anecdotes make me feel belittled, like my opinion is really not important. It is straining our relationship, something I desperately don't want, especially at this delicate stage of life. A stage where I so desperately need to be supported, encouraged, entrusted. Not questioned, judged, and reprimanded.

There are times when we talk about shiduchim, I feel a knot in my stomach, my shoulders stiffen and I feel pounding in my head. I feel anxious about our relationship, and about what you will say this time. Will you minimize my concerns and dismiss by reservations? And worse, will you blame me for being so picky? Will you make me doubt myself? Will you try to convince me that something that bothers me isn't all that important in the scheme of life?

I dread these conversations, because they all go the same way. You getting frustrated at me, and I feeling more confused than before. I need to feel that we are in this together. Both of us working in tandem, in sync - as friends. I want to feel supported and empowered during this trying stage of my life. Actually, I need that. I need you to validate my concerns, trust my gut, and build my self esteem. All done in the way that I feel supported, not in the way that you think I ought to feel that you are supporting me (ala ‘Five Love Languages').

Let's remember that I didn't put myself in this situation. It's the cards Hashem dealt me, and I'm now left with the decision on how to play them. Let's play them with happiness. Let's recognize Who's really making my shidduch.

And please recognize that I can be happily single, until Hashem decides to make me happily married.

We both want what's best for me. We're in this together. But sometimes I feel that we are on opposite sides.

I love you, I truly appreciate your intent, but the way you are going about it isn't working for me. Please, please let's have a conversation about how to move forward from here.


Most Read Most Comments


Opinions and Comments
1
Time to grow up
Time to start taking care of your own dating life.
(12/4/2017 11:00:32 PM)
2
Well said
“Why isn’t she married?”

“What’s wrong with her”

(12/4/2017 11:11:53 PM)
3
Parents also need to listen
Good gezugt.
Thanks for sharing
A parent :)
(12/4/2017 11:13:53 PM)
4
Slow Clap
Clap. Clap. Clap.

Well put! Another note, marriage doesn't equal happiness. We are able to be happy and fulfilled in life while single...
(12/4/2017 11:16:57 PM)
5
You go!!
Perfectly worded.
Anyone who sticks their nose in your business, give it right back to them, and say keep out.
(12/4/2017 11:18:40 PM)
6
Beautiful
Vey mature letter.
(12/4/2017 11:25:52 PM)
7
Parents
Are doing what they know how to do best--- parent! They are parenting with love! Child has a point here but put yourself in the parents painful heart! They may recognize that their daughter is accomplished and happy in her life but want to do their hishtadlus in the next chapter..
Hatzlocha to the daughter and parents to find a happy medium so each have space and continue building their relationship! Blood is thicker than water!
(12/4/2017 11:26:24 PM)
8
Btw
Torah says completeness is marriage so yes you may be happy and accomplished but you are not completely fulfilled. There is something more....and deeper!!!
(12/4/2017 11:28:48 PM)
9
to #4
Number one: Its a mitzva to get married and have children
number 2: Whats real happiness with out a family and children??
(12/4/2017 11:30:31 PM)
10
You Said It
Brought out this point perfectly!
May Hashem send you the right one easily very soon.
(12/4/2017 11:40:58 PM)
11
On your side
I truly empathize with you, as a person who dated for 12 years before finding my spouse. You are in the midst of a real challenge.
The one paragraph I would've liked to see in the article is, "I have spoken more than once (or speak regularly) with a mature shidduch mashpia/coach/therapist/whoever who agrees with me that my 'short wish list' of qualities for a husband is reasonable and practical and that I don't seem to be overly picky." If you have a personal guide for the shidduch parsha (not a mashpia who's two years older than you and a newlywed herself), then hopefully your parents and others might be more accepting and less critical. Hopefully that person would help you stand up to the criticism and feel more sure about your decisions -- although you sound quite sure of yourself as it is, and you do sound reasonable in the examples you gave. This is a parsha that requires a lot of bitachon in Hashem that He has the right one prepared for you and will bring him around in the right time IYH. I hope it's very, very soon. Please remember the Rebbe's guideline to give 18 cents to tzedaka for Hachnassas Kallah. Reading the 3-volume set Eternal Joy is also a great help for dating and good preparation for marriage. Hatzlacha rabba!!!
(12/4/2017 11:44:14 PM)
12
As a single
I can relate too well
(12/5/2017 12:17:32 AM)
13
To #4You can be happy in many situations...
But we don't pray for them and we wish and pray for the situation to change. Whether it's being single, divorced, sick, disabled, poor, or whatever.

A person can be happy and very happy in any of those situations, but we pray and do whatever we can not to be in them.

Life is not black or white, it's more complicated and nuanced than that.
(12/5/2017 12:39:18 AM)
14
you sound like a smart girl
lets say I have a brother or son who might be a very good match for you , smart, open to shlichus or business, hate Timbucktu, would like to live in NY or anywhere with a nice Chabad community.
How do I get you??
How about you write here your two initials, and leave with Adei AD administration the two initials & your phone number, or if u have a better idea its just fine.

Dont be ashamed do it, im very interested to find out about you. Sincereley A.B.C.
(12/5/2017 12:55:22 AM)
15
Very true
Dont let your parents push you into marriage.

They will thank you later in life.
They are typical herd mentality type of people.
Marriage is not a prison, being forced and
Coerced into it , is not what the rebbe
Or torah wants from you. Stay strong
Your on the right track. The right one will
Come in the right time. I wish you the best of luck.
(12/5/2017 1:01:56 AM)
16
Haim
Why don't you put a note in igross then you'll know if it's for u or not?
(12/5/2017 1:26:01 AM)
17
Kiddo
You are clearly extremely picky. Also your probably around twenty so your opinion doesn’t really matter. You are still young and inexperienced with life. And would you really rather remain single than live in a third world country? Of course not!
The very fact that you felt the need to vent about your parents on a public forum rather than directly confronting them only serves as proof that your judgement abilities are inadequate (thus explaining why you might have been set up with interesting fellows).
Finally, try to understand your parents perspective on this situation: having a grown daughter living with them indefinitely is a significant financial liability, you getting married can really assist them with starting their retirement plan (of course, assuming you have no younger siblings)
(12/5/2017 1:30:23 AM)
18
A parent's perspective
I absolutely agree with the writer. I too felt I should push a little harder, but then I thought... leave him/her alone. I have seen too many kids browbeaten into marriages that were a disaster because mom & dad pushed & the poor child didn't have the strength to argue any more.

It sounds crazy, but it happens. My suggestion is you tell them, face to face, exactly what you wrote. Then tell them you will bypass them permanently the next time they refuse to take no for an answer.

I backed off from pushing my opinions onto my children...in fact, I actually told one I can't tell you how you should feel (although I had terrible misgivings.) They got married & are extremely happy - I was so wrong, but I'm glad I never forced anything because my child would have missed the bashert.

Good luck to you, may you find your chossen immediately!
(12/5/2017 2:24:02 AM)
19
The new parenting hotline
or a good and experienced mentor, sounds like a worthwhile step here.
it's very important and commendable that you realize and stated that your parent means well!
(12/5/2017 3:09:33 AM)
20
looking objectively, from outside of both you and your parents
All 3 examples you gave could have been avoided if your parents had done more homework. Its not their fault; they were probably given wrong information. They were probably told that the Timbuktu didn't want shlichus at all. It has happened to me as a parent and I feel guilty for not double, treble and quadruple checking. But you need to tell your parents very, very, very specifically what you seek in a spouse and what you are prepared to give up on for the right one. They in turn have to mamash make a police investigation. Then on the gashmius front at least, you have a much better chance of a successful first meeting. Ruchnius, who knows what Hashem has in store for you. So, as I am sure you know, you have to duven etc and beH you will have Siata d'Ishmaya.
(12/5/2017 3:41:49 AM)
21
Thank you
Some letters that are printed here, should not be. I appreciate this one so I can think about what to say and not to say to my own kids in this situation. Thank you for sharing
(12/5/2017 3:59:52 AM)
22
Schoyach to you!
Hatzlacha Rabba with the right one, in the right time & in the right place. According to Torah the mitzvah to marry is on the man. Intense pressure to do so if one is not ready is unhealthy.
(12/5/2017 4:54:37 AM)
23
total agreement
Yes! to some, height is an issue! doesn't make it wrong to turn someone down for that!!
and yes, Shlichus at the other end of the world, does not always work for all of us!
Of course there are certain things that we have to give on, but equally there are certain things that we do NOT have to give on!
Respect us as capable, responsible, able, regular human beings who can and will iyh make our decision when were ready to, and when we've found him!
Thank you for all your help and concern, but . . .
In total agreement with the writer!
(12/5/2017 5:42:37 AM)
24
Listen to your inner voice
You know best. Listen to your inner voice and disregard well meaning advice from others.
(12/5/2017 5:53:54 AM)
25
# 1
Your point although ever so well made is the root cause of ALL problems
Allow adult children to make dating arrangements
Tell adult settled single guys that it is alright to invite a girl out on a date and educate adult girls that accepting a date is not wrong
Gasps of horror do I hear
Ever so responsible advice however



(12/5/2017 6:17:16 AM)
26
Well written
She only has to live with him for the rest of her life,she doesn't sound picky,sounds very sensible.
(12/5/2017 7:17:09 AM)
27
Nice article
Point to ponder, the flip side of your parents not being worried for you, is you fetching for your own.....
(12/5/2017 7:46:59 AM)
28
as a mother
please dont be so hard on ur parents. they want the best for u! they feel ur sadness and pain and are hurting for u[ or for all the older girls and boys who want desperately to start a family]. thank u.
(12/5/2017 7:54:38 AM)
29
Dear parents, please respect your daughter's feelings,
Besuras Tovos to all!
(12/5/2017 8:04:54 AM)
30
Beautifully written!!!
Respectfully and clearly explained. Good luck in finding the right one, with clarity and a happy heart
(12/5/2017 8:15:42 AM)
31
!!!!
reading this made my heart start beating fast....
i ddnt know that someone out there could b having exact same problems as i am...
i am with u on this..enjoy your life single ...i hope your parents will read this and understand ...
and i hope that in the right time you will find the one n live a very happy life together ...
thank u for writing this whoever u may be
(12/5/2017 8:28:03 AM)
32
BH you have a Jewish mother
That's what they do, its practically their gd given mission to nudge endlessly. Be grateful that you got a good package along with all the frustration that comes with it. And stand up for yourself so that one day you too will have the zchus of nudging your own daughter!:)
(12/5/2017 8:42:48 AM)
33
Agree in 95 %
I agree in 95% of your very well written letter
There is only 1 thing : I don’t know you but Some girls don’t like anybody te first time they met , and I mean literally anybody.
I am talking regarding cases that you decided to date. ( not regarding cases that you don’t want to met the bochur )
If you decide to met him , you should obligate yourself to go 5 dates before you decide ( consider these 5 dates as a long 1 date)
Again this applies only in cases that you agreed to met him
(12/5/2017 9:07:03 AM)
34
To the author
It sounds like your parents are doing the right thing. If they were content with you being single, then I would say that they were bad parents.

While most single boys and girls want to get married, there is a growing trend of singles that are "content" with being single. While this fits very well with secular/hipster culture, this does NOT align with Torah values.

Sadly, I know parents that are overly content with their children being single, and almost all of their children are in their mid thirties and forties and not married. Some of these parents are not necessarily content, it's just that unlike your parents, they are afraid to push their children.

You WILL find the right one for you, but NEVER get fully comfortable with being single.
(12/5/2017 9:09:02 AM)
35
Emphasize, but
You should be picky, this is your life and your future. It has to be right for you, feel right for you.
BUT
Your parents are right. People sometimes meet the right someone and are ready to marry them, even if it is not the type of person they imagined themselves with.
For this one they are ready to overlook too short, too quiet, living in a place they didn't imagine. etc etc.even stupid jokes can be overlooked if that its not his real attitude to women. he is trying to be funny.
Give things a chance.
Good luck
(12/5/2017 9:15:35 AM)
36
see a therapist together with your parents to be on same page
Parents have to ask themselves who they are really doing this for, their children or themselves. Marriage is the happiest way to live, unless it is an unhappy marriage. Some people actually do prefer to be single, for a variety of reasons. I know many parents who have had to make peace with that and learn to give up on the idea that their child will get married, or at least give that effort and the consequences of that over to their child.
(12/5/2017 9:23:48 AM)
37
appalled at 17
Your comment is distasteful and should be removed. Quit the judgment. It's unbecoming to anyone.
(12/5/2017 9:35:53 AM)
38
Lubavitcher yungerman
Wow can’t have written it better myself!!!!
It applies to bochurim as well, my own dear parents also pushed me to meet girls which were not my style!

Parents have to remember that no matter how desperately they want their child to get married, it’s not about who they think is good in their good in Their eyes, due to yichus, wealth and a “known name” because those things don’t matter in married life of every day!

What matters is a spouse who is appropriate for your child’s character not someone who is well known in the community,
As there is nothing wrong with marrying into a Baal teshuva family or any family that is different from the “usual mold”

And for the people have “good intentions” is not to say im yirtzeh hashem by every single Simcha And every possible encounter, as a segulah to cause hashem to bring the brocha “quicker” it is coming out of our ears.
(12/5/2017 9:43:37 AM)
39
Different angle.
Personally i feel more then anything is those well meaning shadchanim that feel the need to push you against the wall in the hope that you will just "settle" with whomever they set you up with. That's not how it works, you have to like they girl or guy, its your life not anyone elses.
And above all your parents are really really the ones that care about your happiness the most!
(12/5/2017 9:57:29 AM)
40
to #9
It's NOT a mitzvah for a woman to get married
And how dare you say that happiness and fulfillment comes ONLY with marriage and children. All of us older, single, childless women really thank you for that wonderfully sensitive remark!
(12/5/2017 10:31:28 AM)
41
#17 - wow. wow. wow.
I'm not the author, but I am a single young woman who wholeheartedly agree with every word she says. Your comment may as well have been directed at me. Let's break down your comment shall we?

"Kiddo" - Starting with condescension! What a mature and non-sexist approach.

"You are clearly extremely picky." - Ah, so if you don't want to continue dating a guy - any guy - that makes you picky? As someone who has dated old&young/smart&dumb/accomplished&lazy/thin&fat/
gezhe&BT&ger/NYCers&foreigners/tall&short, I can confidently tell you that "picky" is merely a lazy slur. And like #11 said, I can also add that I speak to a mature mashpia who is also a licensed therapist about my dating decisions - so perhaps you should get a few degrees and then speak at length to a single person before calling them picky.

"Also your probably around twenty so your opinion doesn't really matter. You are still young and inexperienced with life." - Actually, I'm 31 years old. Disregarding the blatant sexism of your assumption, it's nice to know that you think that when it comes to marriage, the woman's opinion doesn't matter. I'm sure your wife appreciates that.

"And would you really rather remain single than live in a third world country? Of course not!" - Um, hello, she literally just said that yes, she would rather remain single. Guess what? There are a LOT of things worse than being single. Being miserable in your marriage, for one. This isn't a deal-breaker for me, but it is for her. And it's not a very shallow or "picky" one! Not everyone wants to live without access to medical care, reliable police force, drinkable water, a mikvah, or be 20 hours and thousands of dollars from seeing family members.

"The very fact that you felt the need to vent about your parents on a public forum rather than directly confronting them only serves as proof that your judgement abilities are inadequate (thus explaining why you might have been set up with interesting fellows)." - If this is how you respond to someone sharing their experiences/feelings, then that's all the proof you need that confronting someone can be pretty pointless. But these op-eds aren't published as personal shout-outs, they're published because they are common experiences that many, many people can relate to. Clearly not you!

"Finally, try to understand your parents perspective on this situation: having a grown daughter living with them indefinitely is a significant financial liability, you getting married can really assist them with starting their retirement plan." - Again, good sir - your whole comment displays pure sexism. You assume the woman is young, naive, foolish, and financially dependant. I don't think my parents would call the past 12 years of me paying my own rent, utilities, health insurance, etc while also helping out my parents with loans a financial strain. (I'm sure you assumed that single women only buy things like clothes and makeup).

In conclusion - this op-ed was not directed at you. Please take your extensive judgement and use it for some self-reflection of why you feel so threatened by this young woman expressing her feelings.

To the author - I agree with you 1000%. Like wealth, marriages come from Hashem, and while we need to do our extensive hishtadlus down here, it can only happen at the time it's decreed above. In the meantime, we can live joyful, meaningful lives that make a difference in this world. You are not alone!
(12/5/2017 11:08:08 AM)
42
Judgemental
The letter is quite judgemental of parents, environment, etc.
You're doing what youdon't what others to do
(12/5/2017 12:31:55 PM)
43
agree
Multiple parents as my own just don't get it and they never will...lol
With or without them stop wasting time & just move on.
(12/5/2017 12:49:00 PM)
44
A thought
As a mother who has married off several children, I want to thank this young lady for her letter. I felt that my job as a mother was to support my child in helping him/her find her bashert, on their terms. I never tried to get a child to second guess whatever it was that they thought they wanted. If height was the issue, I honoured it, if it was another issue, I was with them. I felt that my child needed my absolute support, and with that I was being a good mother. After each date, I would debrief with the child, and review the qualities that the child had asked for, and asked the child to review their "list" and let me know if any of they want to update any of their requests.
Loving a child and working hard towards their shidduch does not mean that we have to force them to meet someone that they do not want to, or to get them to doubt their abilities to choose a mate. If we are encouraging them to date, they must be able to choose their spouse. They walk back from the chupa together, and we leave them in the Yichud Room alone. Each family should work so that the children are given the tools to move on to this most important stage in their lives and bring nachas to all.
(12/5/2017 2:04:33 PM)
45
why the article?
why such an article? let her say ma or ta, i will do it on my own. case closed. no need for articles or comments in the positive or even worse the negative
(12/5/2017 2:43:54 PM)
46
@41
Well said! Thank you for being the one to respond!
(12/5/2017 3:46:48 PM)
47
#45
What does it matter to you if people exchange ideas and share ???if u cannot tolerate it then get off and go read something else.But why dictate what people want to share?
(12/5/2017 3:50:02 PM)
48
Question
My question is, why can't we have events for older singles to meet a potential significant other in a more natural, and organic way? Unfortunately, for some of us, the regular shidduch process isn't working and this might help, but this idea is completely taboo.
(12/5/2017 4:16:37 PM)
49
to #48
Feel free to try to make events. There are a few and from what I understand they work occasionally to bring people together but are usually less effective in getting people married than the direct approach of setting people up.

There are a number of shuls in the CH area that cater to a young crowd and if people want to meet other young people, they should seek out those places, as well as kosher coffee shops and venues where there is lots of mingling. Getting around in different crowds and being seen can help people network. When single women sleep in on Shabbos mornings instead of going to shul, they are wasting an opportunity to meet people, even of their own gender but who might know of a suitable match. As they say, "out of sight, out of mind".
(12/5/2017 5:04:26 PM)
50
to #36
Its not very nice to say that...
If you want to speak like that , speak to her personally.
Shidduchim is from hashem, and all you have to do is wait for the perfect person to come your way.
Stop going crazy looking for a shidduch, you have to have Emuna and Bitachon in hashem and all will be good.
(12/5/2017 5:14:25 PM)
51
To 47
Why the aggressive attitude?!? Where's YOUR tolerance for someone saying their opinion? They were just suggesting a conversation with the parents. Problem with that? Please keep your bitterness out of this and stop attacking ppl who are not on your "lets blame parents" page
(12/5/2017 5:17:21 PM)
52
Devora Krasnianski of Adai Ad
The writer of this letter is a very responsible, respectful, frum and articulate young woman seeking someone 24-28. If you have a shiduch suggestion, you can reach out to me at info@adaiad.org
(12/5/2017 5:27:07 PM)
53
Shabbos Dinner For Singles
Attention Frum Lubavitch Singles, Ages 25+!!
My family and I are once again hosting a
Friday night Seudah in our home,
1640 Carroll Street (Schenectady/Utica)
basement entrance, Shabbos Veyeishev –

21 Kislev/December 8th,
and would love for you to join us!
Please email me with your RSVP at
Elke@EzraNathan.com or text/call me at
917-929-7460 to let me know you’re coming.
It’s important to leave your name so I know who to expect.

Please share this with any Frum Lubavitch singles!

There’s no fee, just come and bring your friendly smile! And of course, don’t be shy -
feel free to say a Dvar Torah, we always appreciate the inspiration!

We will begin after Maariv, approx. 6:45pm.
We’re looking forward to greeting you!
Ezra & Elke (Turk) Nathan and family
(12/5/2017 5:34:30 PM)
54
To #1
If singles actualy implemented this, we'd have no Shidduch crisis. The issue is that people are scared of going about looking for shidduch on their own. a Shadchan isn't for everyone. Remember that.
(12/5/2017 5:49:44 PM)
55
RSVP
#53 who ever put the invite on collive, Please make sure to RSVP, before Thursday, we must know who is coming,
thank you the cook. No texting only email.
(12/5/2017 9:19:23 PM)
56
#44
As a mother with more than one child "in the Parsha" I really appreciate your comment; well-said!
(12/5/2017 9:55:59 PM)
57
# 53
Wow that is so sweet
(12/5/2017 10:01:34 PM)
58
Practical Idea.
I used to get caught in the stories of my parents trying to find my siblings Shidduch, when I would call home on Fridays I was tempted to disscus all the choice of my siblings Shidduch, it was not healthy and was ruining our relationship, my Madhpia suggested that on Fridays when I call home for Shabbos should be designated for just positive things. This helped tremendously for me.
Every Relationship needs boundaries. You need to have a have time that in this period of time you don't disscus Shidduchim, maybe Shabbos, the point is to be able to have a time period that is dedicated to connecting with your parents without any agendas just because they're parents and you value them.
(12/5/2017 11:44:50 PM)
59
Thank you
As an "older" single girl, I sympathize with the author. Though, my main issue was with shadchanim not caring about my opinion, more than my parents. Was told more times than I can count, that I was too picky or quick to judge. When did rejecting a chauvinist or lazy guy become a bad thing? Oh, and do not get me started on the beard issue!
(12/6/2017 9:49:12 AM)
60
To number 41
As the author of comment number 17 I can proudly say that you’ve proven my point. (Btw I’m female)
You have too much time on your hands and you are thin skinned. Get married!
Oh and trust me I have experience: I was married more than once.
(12/6/2017 10:40:48 AM)
61
kol hakavod
what a beautiful, open, honest article. thank you for being brave enough to write it. I'm sure it will help many.
(12/6/2017 12:34:34 PM)
62
everyone has a choice but not an equal choice
There are the winners and losers in the quest for a shidduch. For example, if someone is mildly disabled but could get married, then the quest is for someone will either accept the disability or who has one of their own but it may be a different disability than the other one has. For that person, the search could be more difficult. The same holds true for someone with an inherited disorder in the family or with a complicated family.
Not everyone has such great choices to choose from so sometimes the choice is between staying single and marrying someone that the single person cannot live with. I am sure that everyone who is picky realizes that they may be choosing to be single for many years if not for life, chas v'sholem but that is the choice that they make and everyone else has to simply accept their choice. If they seem unreasonable, then don't get involved in their shidduchim. Let someone do it who has the patience for their pickiness.
(12/6/2017 1:50:23 PM)
63
Come to Chevra
Chevra Ahavas Yisrael on Albany
(12/6/2017 6:08:25 PM)
64
51 take note
Not the least bit bitter so stop projecting.that person said tall to parents and whallah all solved basically.That is how discussion stops and that is precisely what i was referring to.why are YOU so defensive?? Feel like parents are being bashed?im a parent and i dont feel blamed or anything.im open to dialogue and understanding how singles feel.try it sometime.
(12/6/2017 7:11:54 PM)
65
shes probably 22 years old
people are still having healthy children at 45.
whats the rush!?
(12/6/2017 9:03:03 PM)
66
to # 17
you sound like a parody of a well meaning person who doesn't even realize how badly s/he needs sound parenting lessons.
(12/7/2017 3:13:05 PM)
67
here, here.
well spoken. i much agree.
(12/10/2017 10:36:00 AM)
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